Blooming love...

Blooming love……

Life was always perfect but felt something was missing until the time  I fell in love..... but was it perfect or not..this was the question.... though I never paid any mind to that and blindly went ahead with that amazing feeling..it was in class 11..but soon I realised no its not love..it was just the need of filling up the blank spaces in my life…no no it was not love…

So the question arises when did it bloom then?? Okay..so coming to that now..i don’t know when this happened because love doesn’t knock the doors of your heart and then comes in your life…its shameless ..just comes without a call…food and water are the basic requirements of life but love is the important element to survive in life…

Oh we were talking about my love..so I fell in love with this guy who was just so special to my heart… but this started from my early college days…his presence used to shower happiness ….i don’t know what is LOVE…but it was always a wonderous state,deep,tender and rewarding…

He brought a feeling of that sort of a joy in my life which can never be explained through meagre words…my life seemed to be blooming like the most pretty and colourful flower….he made my 20^th b’day so special….he came in my life and made me feel that

 yes I have someone special in my life too…we both walked around holding hands with our fingers locked into each others and talking about the most silliest topics on this earth….he used to always love to see me making some stupid,funny faces…..

The words of love said by him used to be like that soft melodious rhythm which I used to feel like hearing again and again….

I always shared my dreams with him and one was to dance with him in the rain…and yes it was fulfilled…we didn’t dance but we were walking holding hands in that blissfull rain of joy….i miss those kiddish fights which we used to have in coffee shops or anyplace just to prove our point or perspective or who will play angry birds on my tab….i miss those moments ….and then he used to slowly come near to me and say that “shradha, see  everyone is staring at us and passing a weird smile..lolz..” he never knew that those smiles were just because we were special and our innocent fights and joyous laughs made us look more special…J

His early goodmorning messages made my mornings more special ..i used to wake up with a smile and then my day used to come to an end with a goodnight message which used to make me fall asleep with that sense of security in my mind that yes..he is there with me in every twists and turns of my life….

But its always said life is not a fairy tale where things always goes perfect…same happened here…and it  left me with a question that was it my destiny or my smiling fate????

One day he left me….i was not in a state to accept the pain of parting ways….still for his happiness I accepted it with a smile on my face that yes ,my love will always remain the same for him….and I should not lose trust on my love atleast…my feelings will never die..my hopes are always going to remain firm and strong…

Today all of a sudden I received his text at 2:30 saying that “I hate u” ….this reminded me of him telling me once that even there is love in hatredness….so I’l accept that hatredness even…if you hate me I’l be there in your mind and if you love me I’l be there in your heart…all in all I will be satisfied that I’l be with you…

I miss you a lot…n love you till the end…

Shradha…J

was it me or them??

Was it me or them????

Its almost four in the morning and I’m listening to one of my favourite tracks..just stuck to a big question of my life…

I was always a bubbly,down- to -earth,friendly,cheerful and happy go lucky girl but until that day when this unwanted doubt started revolving around me…so, WAS IT ME OR THEM????

Life is always vibrant and joyous for me…I never desired for a perfect life because I believe that take life the way it comes to you… Perfectionism is a dangerous distortion.Nothing is ever enough and nothing is ever good enough. Being patient with ourselves and our lives, and letting where we are and what we have simply been enough,is one of the most important skills to master in the art of achieving happiness..All I always wished was to keep that PERFECT smile on my face…so was it wrong by any chance????

This smile was always perfect when I was around my few but beautiful set of friends n yes among them was one who was someone really more than my special friend ….this was another family of mine..but soon this family was breaking down which really forced me to think about this painful instance ….i could feel that  everyone was going away from one another….but  in life happiness doesn’t last for long…. I should be modest enough and not completely blame “them” because every human being has faults as I mentioned earlier I don’t like to be perfect..so even I’m not flawless…faults are on my part even but still i cant take the initiative  alone to unite this family…every member needs to have that passion of proving that statement again that “unity stands ..divide we fall”

Expectations always kills any relation…so won’t expect anything but yes again power of what you feel should be strong enough for what you desire for…As I read somewhere that we are magnet attracting to all things what we want via the signals we are emitting through our thoughts or feelings…I can always feel that yes one day again we all will be together again and make those POT PARTIES happen once again….

I just want to say that miss you guys a lot…hope to get back together again…J

Tudoo

Luv ya Shradha J

The Morning Saga

I had been an insomniac for the last few days…the stress and uncertainities were just pondering over my head all over the day and  the entire night…the thoughts were dark and scary but   I was unable to reveal them…Anyways,insomnia had veiled me in the darkness and has bounded me in the shackles of fear,uncertainity and mystery…my mind was in a chaotic and utmost confused state… but every dark night is followed by a beautiful morning of brights sunrays giving a warm touch in our lives.....I longed for state of freedom from these absurd and disturbing environment… I was caged in the suffocating thoughts when I felt the need of some fresh air and then, when I was gazing outside my window all I felt were the morning rays falling on my face and comforting me with its sensitivity and giving me hopes of letting me free…. My eyes were veiled with darkness and then suddenly crimson sun rays ever so gently ushered me to a MORNING…A brand new day, another sunrise which was like arrival of new set of thoughts in my mind….. I witnessed several mornings earlier but this one was special as it was leading me to a change of positivity and giving a shape to the thoughts of my life…..The sun nudged my senses and cleansed my impure thoughts leading me towards a life with a clear and non –disturbing path…

This morning made me witness and realise many deep things…

:The sweepers sweeping the streets with a gusto sprinkling water on the roads for making the city look clean and beautiful for the day…but in other way it was done for the incessant people to trample on the chest and their hard work ultimately is overlooked….

The birds chirping away to the glory ….every chirping sound itself had a unique and rhythmic composition which brought a sense of lively tune in an individual’s life…..

The roads were not looking familiar to me as they were all calm and quite…the serenity was seen evolving in every aspect of the surrounding…the dewdrops on the leaves portrayed the natural beauty and sweetness in relation to life…

Overall the smile embraced on my face was marked as a soulful treasure of bringing my heart and mind alike…